


Blue Warmth

by cheesepotations



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (again), Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Overdosing, Pokemon - Freeform, Suicide Attempt, did someone ask for another fic of me abusing my faves?, emotional teabags, emotionally ready for part 2?????, i cried while coming up with the idea for this, i finished it!!!!!!, it's a two parter, just cause this is venting so it's emotional, no?, rein makes a brief appearance because he big and strong, so idk if i'm like, venting, well here it is!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10188524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheesepotations/pseuds/cheesepotations
Summary: After a year in Overwatch, Hanzo has gotten comfortable with the group. But not comfortable enough not to jump at the chance of medications in lethal doses.Fuck





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> me??????????? projecting my emotional issues onto my favorite characters??????????? it's more likely than you think
> 
>  
> 
> (same emotional state as the stars are on fire)

“It’s not problem at all, I have some stuff for coughs and sore throats, headaches…” Angela went on, listing some other symptoms of colds and random medications for treating them.

“I just need some cough medicine.” Hanzo replied, looking as passive as ever. Angela nodded and headed into a back room, searching for the pills. Gibralter didn’t have a well built medical center—really, it was just a small closet to hold some of their medications and other medical supplies. 

She returned a minute later, handing him a handful of pills. “Take two, and call me in the morning,” she said with a wink, smiling slightly. Hanzo nodded, standing up when Lucio hurried into the room.

“Hey Ange, I need a little help.” he asked, standing a little awkwardly in the middle of the room.

She turned away from Hanzo to look at him, concern coloring her features, “Is there something wrong?”

“Hana hasn’t slept in four days—” Lucio started, but Angela cut him off. 

“I got it, I’ll get the sedatives,” she said. Lucio nodded, chuckling a bit. 

Hanzo moved to walk out of the room, but Angela stopped him. “We could use your help. Hana will be suspicious if I walk in holding something, so could you grab the Nyquil? Give her three times the normal dosage, we need to knock her out.”

Hanzo nodded. She and Lucio headed out to the common room, Hanzo stepping into the medicine closet. 

Hana sat in an overly stuffed bean bag chair, eyes glazed over and staring at the large TV in the room. Her fingers moved unnaturally fast along the controller, controlling a small wizard sending out spells in every direction. 

Lucio crept up behind her, pouncing on the bean bag chair, shocking Hana out of her video game trance, and she turned to glare at him. Angela stepped behind her, grabbing her and lifting her up. Hana, torn between the shock of being picked up and the surprising fact that Angela was able to carry her, didn’t notice Hanzo entering the room, passing a bottle of pills to Lucio, who walked up to her.

“Alright. It’s been way too long since you last slept,” he scolded, standing in front of her like a disappointed parent.

Hana pouted, looking ready to protest until she saw the look on his face, and she took the pills after Angela released her. Lucio let out an audible sigh of relief, leading Hana back to her room.

Angela groaned, flopping onto the bean bag chair behind her. “She’s going to be asleep for so long. It’s going to be so quiet without her.”

She looked around the room, the silence answering the question of where Hanzo had gone, and she leaned back, enjoying the peace. She closed her eyes, ready to take a nap.

That was until Lena and Jesse burst into the room, Lena a bit tipsy and Jesse roaring drunk. 

\--

Hanzo hadn’t shown up to breakfast, and Genji was getting worried. It wasn’t unusual for him to skip meals, opting out to sit in his room and read, but it hadn’t happened in weeks now. Especially not breakfast, Hanzo not wanting to skip out on morning tea. 

Genji had waited a full half an hour before excusing himself to go get Hanzo. His brother doesn’t get to be antisocial when they bought a month’s supply of traditional Japanese tea for him just last week. 

A few people gave him some weird looks, Jesse even asking if he could come along with him. He shrugged, letting the cowboy tag along. His presence would probably pull Hanzo out of his room, his brother warming up to Jesse more than he would have thought. 

He knocked on Hanzo’s door, knocking a pattern the brothers had come up with during their childhood. It was the password for a secret clubhouse they had (aka an abandoned shed) and only they were allowed in. Once Hanzo joined Overwatch, Genji adopted the knock again, knowing that Hanzo would talk to Genji more willingly than anyone else. 

There was no response for a few seconds, and Genji tried again. Jesse shifted awkwardly behind him, whistling softly. 

Genji leaned against the door, the metal of his faceplate making a soft clink as it hit the door. “Hanzo, I know you’re up. You don’t sleep in and I know you haven’t left your room.”

There was no response, and Genji grumbled in annoyance. Hanzo either suddenly grew a sense of humor or he was just being a dick. 

Jesse chuckled, pushing past him. “Gimme a try, I can prob’ly get ‘im out.”

Genji stepped back, watching the cowboy knock softly. “Hanzo, darlin’? I know yer in there, so can ya come out? We’re gettin’ a little lonely without ya in the mess hall.” Jesse paused, waiting for a few seconds before continuing. “Satya’s get n’one to talk to, and ain’t she got all those bitchy comments ya like? Ya can’t let ‘er judge everyone alone, right?”

There was still no response, and Jesse frowned. Hanzo usually would snap something back at him when Jesse brought up his “mean girls” type relationship with Satya. 

“Step aside, I’ll just open the door.” Genji punched a code into the door key, waiting for the door to unlock. When it sat still, the “locked” symbol not going away, he typed it in again, a bit more forceful this time. 

Jesse stood back and watched Genji type in the unlock passcode 11 times before typing in 17 different passwords before turning back to him. The expressionless face of the mask still gave off his frustration, and Jesse couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“I’ll go get Jack, he knows all the codes. There’s probably some override code or something fer when a password gets changed.” 

\--

Turns out there wasn’t an override code, or Jack’s memory was getting away from him. He had typed in more codes than Genji originally had. Jesse would’ve laughed if he wasn’t getting worried about Hanzo.

Jack had gone and got Reinhardt, who typed in a few more codes before getting Ana, who typed in even more. All the original Overwatch angents had collectively typed in every password in Gibralter’s database, including the one that unlocks the vending machine. 

Nothing worked.

\--

It had been two hours. They searched the base for Hanzo in case he wasn’t in his room, but he hadn’t left since he went in yesterday. No one had seen him since he had come to see Angela around noon the day before. 

Now Genji was really worried. Hanzo had nearly spent an entire 24 hours inside of his room, alone, never leaving. He had never stayed alone in his room that long even when he was actively trying to avoid everyone on the base. He hadn’t even gone to the bathroom or gotten food.

He knew Jesse was getting worried as well, and everyone else on base was at least some bit concerned. They had grown to really like Hanzo after he opened up. He had been with them almost a year and had made a surprising amount of friends for someone like himself. Hana had even hung around him for a while, showing him an old pokemon game she had that he had played. 

Athena was currently scanning the security cameras for Angela’s clinic and the hallways by Hanzo’s room. After a few minutes of scanning, she asked for Angela to review the tapes. 

Everyone sat in silence for the time it took Angela to watch them. She came back ten minutes later, silent and pale. 

“Open the door,” she said quietly, “Now.”

Jesse shrugged. “Ange, that’s what we’ve been tryin’ to do for the past-”

“Now.”

Jesse took a more defensive stance, a little ticked off at Angela’s aggressiveness. Everyone was a little on edge. “Yellin’ at us ain’t gonna get the door open any faster.”

Angela gave him a long stare before turning and walking back down the hallway. The small crowd that had gathered—the old Overwatch agents, Genji, Hana, and Jesse himself—parted to let her through. All the other agents had gone off to do other things, not wanting to crowd Hanzo’s room in case he suddenly came out. They all looked at each other with varying levels of confusion and concern. 

She came back about a minute later, holding an older model of Jack’s gun that was supposedly put in storage. He was about to ask her why she still had it when she smashed the butt of it into the control panel. There was a small click and Angela dropped the gun onto the ground with the shattered glass that had fallen. 

They all watched as he dug her nails into the edge of the door, pulling it open an inch before gripping it with both hands and sliding it out all the way. She turned back to the group, eyes hard. 

“Please try not the crowd the room.” was all she said before she stepped in. Genji and Jesse immediately followed, while the others stayed by the door. 

Hanzo was lying on his cot, facing away from the door. It seemed as if he was sleeping, but the three in the room knew different. Hanzo would’ve woken up at the sound of all those people talking at his door. Anyone would’ve woken at the sound of Angela smashing the panel. 

She stood over him now, Jesse and Genji standing back. After about a minute, she turned back to them. 

“Call in Reinhardt.”

She turned back, waiting for them to do so. Jesse looked at Genji, who’s mask left him expressionless. Apparently, he got the message because he turned and headed to the hallway.

“H-Hey, Doc? What’s with him?” Jesse walked up so he could look over her shoulder. His good few inches on her let him look at Hanzo lying there.

He knew something was wrong.

Angela had her hand on Hanzo’s wrist, just staring at it. Jesse reached his hand and rested it over hers, and Angela pulled away to let him hold his hand. It was strangely cold. He had felt a lot of corpses in his life and Hanzo’s hand was too close to a dead body for him to be okay. 

Both of them could hear Genji’s metal footsteps and the heavy weight of Reinhardt’s steps. 

“Look at the nails…” Angela mumbled, before turning and stepping away from Jesse and looked back at the two. Jesse still held onto Hanzo’s hand. 

If Jesse held onto Hanzo’s wrist lightly, he could almost feel his pulse. It was barely there, or maybe he was just imagining things. It was just a flutter, like a mouse shaking under his skin. If he moved ever so slightly, he wouldn’t be able to feel it anymore, and Hanzo could be mistaken for a corpse. 

Genji was suddenly next to him, and Jesse began to question whether he still had feeling. Genji might not be able to feel that slight flutter of pulse. He might think Hanzo died. 

Reinhardt stepped in between them, pushing them aside with his girth. They both turned to Angela.

“I needed someone to carry him to the medbay.”

Genji stepped away from Hanzo, Jesse following a few seconds later. “Don’t you need a gurney, or a bed with wheels or something? Being gentle, just in case?” Genji asked, Jesse nodding with him. 

Angela watched Reinhardt as he carefully picked up Hanzo, keeping his back to the others. 

“Not necessary.”

Reinhardt walked out and Angela followed. Jesse sat down on Hanzo’s bed, resting his hand on the messed up sheets where Hanzo was. They were barely warm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more venting and projecting my emotions on hanzo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this all tonight it's almost 1 am i need sleep im sick but i needed to finish this (i can't have another unfinished two parter u guys will kill me)
> 
> un betad, but i did go through for spelling errors

It took about five minutes for the entire base to find out.

“So, he was just lying there? On his bed? For how long?”

Lena just shrugged, and Lucio instead turned to Hana, who still hasn’t looked up from her Pokemon game. Lucio turned back to Lena, who was glancing around uncomfortably.

“No one is really giving any details, this is just things I’ve overheard. Neither Genji or Jesse wants to talk about it, Reinhardt is too polite, and Angela said she won’t leave the medbay til Hanzo is stable.”

Hana turned and walked away, silent. Lucio and Lena watched her go, not wanting to say anything. They both knew she was close to Hanzo, being the first to actually talk to him after Genji.

Lena and Lucio went back to talking, changing the subject to their last battle. Them, Reinhardt, Ana, Jesse, and Hanzo were brought along. Jack wanted the older members to teach the young ones, plus Hanzo, who technically had only been on two missions. It went pretty well, with only a few minor injuries that Lucio could heal. Hanzo was grazed with a bullet, though. He almost got shot blocking Ana while she was down. 

She would be dead without him.

\--

Both Jesse and Genji were waiting in the medbay for Hanzo. Jesse, in the waiting room; Genji, in Angela’s office. He knew how to pick the lock after years of being treated here. 

Hana walked in and sat down next to Jesse, silent. 

“Hey,” Jesse said, trying to smile a little for her.

Hana grunted in return, not looking up from battling another gym leader. 

Jesse turned back to looking at the wall posters again. It had been a few hours and Angela hasn’t left. That means Hanzo hasn’t died yet, he knows Angela would’ve told him if he did. 

At the click of the door, both Hana and Jesse looked up. Genji walked through the door, holding it open for Angela, who followed him.

“He’s stable. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to live.”

“What even happened?” Hana asked, turning off the game. This was serious. She didn’t even both to save. 

“Yesterday Hanzo got access to the medications. He took a few bottles and ingested them around 3 in the afternoon. The effects occurred a few hours later, most likely after he went to sleep.” Her eyes were sad. “He’s been slowly dying since then.”

Genji stood unmoving. Jesse looked between him and Angela. It almost seemed like a sick joke, like this was a lie. He got sick or something. 

“The pills were taken by choice.” Genji deadpanned. “Hanzo made that choice.”

“Is he going to live?” Hana asked, her voice smaller than Jesse had ever heard it. 

Angela sighed. “He is stable, so the pills won’t do any more damage than they have already done. However, I don’t know how much damage the pills have already done. There’s a chance that it was stopped and he will live, but there’s the possibility that it was too late.”

Genji took a few steps away from her, almost reaching the door. He then reached up, unclicking his face mask. Hana could see his face. It was covered in his usual scars, red eyes, and a dead stare. He stared at his face mask, before flinging it to the floor. Jesse and Angela visibly flinched at the loud clang. He hurried out the door. 

Hana was the one who broke the silence. “So, can we go see him?”

Angela nodded, heading back to the door. “Of course, Genji was able to see him for a few minutes before he walked out.”

She turned and led them through the door. There wasn’t much in the medbay, just a few beds. Each bed had a small side table holding typical medical supplies. There were a few empty IV’s, except for one.

There were a few machines hooked up to him, giving off soft beeps in the silence. He lay there on his side, silent. Hana and Jesse approached him, Angela staying back. Instead, she went to the office desk at the edge of the medbay and say down.

“I gave him access to the medical cabinet to get some sedatives to finally put Hana to sleep.”

Hana glared at Angela, but she ignored her.

“On the cameras, I saw him take a bottle of something else. I didn’t know what it was, though. But when I saw his body, I could tell. His lips were turning blue and so were his fingernails. In the pulse you can also feel his heartbeat being erratic. These are symptoms of an overdose of dextropropoxyphene.”

“Uh, English please, Ange.”

She sighed, continuing, “It’s the cough medicine I had given him before. He must’ve known what it was. Even a small overdose could be fatal. I got a look at how many remaining pills there were in the bottle--it was on his desk--and there were only two. I don’t know if these bottles contain only a few pills or many, so I don’t know how much was taken. The pills I had were not in a bottle, and he took the last one. He could’ve taken three pills or thirty, I don’t know. All I know is that he’s in stable condition now. But that doesn’t mean he will wake up. This just means it won’t get any worse, not that it wasn’t bad enough before.”

During Angela’s speech, Hana had drifted over to Hanzo’s bed. He lay her console down on the side table and put her hands on the railing. Hanzo was on his side, facing her. She could tell his lips were a shade of purple now. His arms were attached to a lot of IV’s and she didn’t dare move them to see his hands. His hair lay loose around him, some falling in front of his face. 

Hana brushed the bangs away. She finally understood why so many people say how the dead look peaceful. Hanzo’s face was fully relaxed, no sign of the frown he usually wore. He looked like when she had to wake him up on the last mission. 

There were three hotel rooms rented for the six of them, two in each. Reinhardt with Ana, Lucio with herself, and Jesse with Hanzo. Jesse had already gotten up an hour beforehand, taking advantage of the unlimited breakfast. It was strange for Hanzo not to get up at the crack of dawn, but everyone had an idea of what happened. 

Hana was the one sent to get him, on account of she had the best relationship with him and Jesse was still eating. She could tell by the clothes all over the floor and what she had heard last night through the walls what they had done. It made sense Hanzo would sleep in, resting after the night before. When she went to get him up, he had looked so peaceful in his sleep. She almost didn’t want to wake him, wanted to let him have this happiness and peace for just a little longer. 

Hanzo looked exactly like he did that morning. With just a small nudge she could wake him up and watch him fluster in embarrassment while grabbing at the sheets. 

She didn’t know she was crying until she felt the tears drip onto her hands. Jesse came up behind her and lay a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see him, wiping the tears away. He seemed to soften.

“Hana, sweetheart, do ya think I could have a private moment with Hanzo?”

Hana nodded, stepped away from the bed. She left her console on the side table, mentally promising to come back and show Hanzo her pokemon team. She named a gyarados after him and he had to see it.

Angela watched as Jesse knelt beside Hanzo’s bed. 

“Would you like me to leave, Jesse?”

Jesse nodded, not taking his eyes away from Hanzo. He held Hanzo’s face, running his thumb over his cheekbone. Jesse remembered waking up next to that face on some of the best nights of his life. Seeing Hanzo smile as he opened his eyes when he saw Jesse. 

“Darlin’, it’s time to wake up now, ya hear? Ya can’t just sleep all day, even if ya wanted to. There’s people who wanna see ya, baby.”

Hanzo didn’t respond. Jesse didn’t really expect him to, but he was still disappointed. 

\--

It only took about two weeks before every member of Overwatch had come in to see Hanzo. 

Some only came once, like Fareeha or Zarya. They didn’t know Hanzo well enough to be hurt if he passed away, but the fact that a member of Overwatch tried to take their own life. It had almost happened before, but someone was always there for them. They weren’t there for him. No one was.

Others like Lucio or Jack came often. Lucio always played Hanzo a new song he was working on. He watched the heart monitor, taking a slower beat as a yes. It fluctuated a bit, but Angela said it was good it was slowing down a bit. If his heart beat so fast it was just fluttering, it wouldn’t be able to do its job. Jack was a bit more awkward. He never really knew what to say to Hanzo. He didn’t like him in the beginning, but they eventually had a mutual respect of one another. Hanzo was the only one who paid attention at briefings for upcoming missions. When he came to visit him, he would read the mission briefing. He never was good with his emotions. So far, he hasn’t been able to read a whole one before having to leave, his own emotions threatening to come out.

Hanzo’s friends came almost daily. Hana always came around noon, playing her pokemon game. She narrated to him what she was doing, her battle strategy, how far she had gotten on the pokedex. She made sure to always have a dragon type on hand for Hanzo. 

Jesse or Genji was always in the room. Sometimes they slept on an adjacent bed. Sometimes they would speak to him, sometimes they would just watch him silently. Genji tied one of his ribbons to Hanzo’s bedpost when he was away. Jesse left his sarape laid over him. Angela had to move it when she adjusted the IV’s or rolled him to the other side, but she always laid it back over. 

\--

There was a bet, a while ago, over which tea was better: Japanese or British. Lena and Hanzo had started it, giving each member a sample of each tea. So far, the results were tied. Angela, the last member, refused to give her answer, not wanting to upset either of them. Both of them were annoyed by the results and ended up just trying it themselves. Hanzo had some of Lena’s favorite tea, complaining that it was the worst thing he ever had in his life, and began to talk about how Europeans stole tea from Asia. Lena had laughed throughout the whole monologue.

Lena still hasn’t tried Hanzo’s tea yet, having to leave for a mission before she could try. Then it just slipped her mind. 

She remembered it a few weeks after Hanzo had tried to take his own life. She found it only fair. 

She ended up loving it, giving up her own tea to steal some of Hanzo’s. Mei recommended some of hers, but she refused. 

After Lena had taken almost all of his tea, she refused to have the last box. 

“We can have it together, when he wakes up. I can admit I was wrong.” she gave one of her big smiles, but it never reached her eyes.

She left the box of tea on the side table, next to Hana’s console. Mei left a bit of her own, promising to show them both the superior tea. 

Mei also left a few of her books on the table. Hanzo had asked to borrow them so he could read but he never had the time. 

“He’ll have all the time in the world when he wakes up. Angela won’t let him leave the medbay for weeks after that.” she had said with a sad smile. 

Satya came often as well. She would complain about the other members to him, pausing for his response. 

She too left something: a piece of fabric with the Vishkar emblem on it. Lucio protested, but Satya said they both were atoning for their past together. She took one of Hanzo’s old clothes that were ripped from mission and he couldn’t wear them anymore. She cut out one that had the Shimada symbol. She had sewed it over the Vishkar one on her old outfit. 

\--

After that, everyone began leaving something of theirs by Hanzo’s bed. People would leave things that Hanzo had given him, or that they got when they were together, or things that just reminded them of him. In their own minds, each member of Overwatch promised that when Hanzo woke up, he would know he was not alone. 

Jack began leaving the mission reports he was unable to finish reading.

Ana left a small Japanese flower Hanzo had helped her grow.

Reinhardt left an old album of Hasselhoff, which lead Lucio to leave his own albums. Hanzo could decide which was better when he woke up.

Angela left an old medical record of Genji’s. It was the one where she had finally known that he was going to live. 

Jamie stopped by to give a piece of scrap he promised looked like a dragon. 

Mako left a pachimari plush that he had stolen.

Zenyatta had left an orb of Harmony floating around Hanzo’s bed. 

Fareeha left a medal she had earned for bravery. She said Hanzo deserved it.

Jesse left trinket he had gotten for Hanzo, lining the entire bed all the way around.

\--

After a few months and a few missions, Hanzo became part of the medbay itself.

When a member had to stay in the medbay, they had to leave something of theirs for Hanzo. They joked that it was like an offering, but no one left without leaving something. 

Hanzo would be watching over all of them. 

\--

It took almost a year for Hanzo to wake up. 

Everyone had already lost hope. Even Angela had, but she knew that Jesse and Genji would kill her if she cut off life support. 

They had stopped staying the entire day, deciding to sleep at night and stay in the daytime. 

Angela had burst into Genji’s room at 2AM, hysterical. 

She got Jesse next, and Genji got Hana and Satya. 

Some other members woke up to know what all the noise was about. Some cried, some smiled, and some—Jack—stood silent, too emotionally constipated to show something at this point.

The medbay was crowded by the time Angela got back to Hanzo. Jesse knelt beside Hanzo’s bed, holding onto his hand and sobbing about how much he loved him and how he missed him. Genji stood, crying and smiling with his faceplate off, squeezing his shoulder every few seconds. Hana was babbling on and on about anything and everything. Satya was behind her, talking softer but just as much. The rest of Overwatch was trying to get a look at Hanzo, who finally had his eyes open for the first time in ten months.

Hanzo stared at them all, dazed. He only spoke when he had just woken up, sleepily asking where he was and then asking why Angela was crying. He only responded in small actions, such as rubbing his thumb over Jesse’s knuckles and looking around at everyone.

A few people reached out and touched him, just to feel how warm his was. 

\--

this part isn’t on ao3

After ten minutes of pure chaos Angela shooed everyone back a few feet so Hanzo could breathe. Hanzo looked around, eventually stopping on the bedside table. He reached out, running his fingers along the neon pink sides of Hana’s console,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bulshitted my way through the medical portions of this, but some actually has truth  
> \- the medication hanzo took is real and treats mild pain and coughs  
> \- overdosing on said medication causes irregular heart beats and blue tints on lips and fingernails (this is actually how i got the name for this fic)  
> \- a lot of unstable patients are placed on their side so if stuff comes out of their mouth they won't choke (a lot of times a patient dies when they are rolled over and it disturbs their body. nurses sometimes call this "the roll of death")  
> \- overdosing causes comas, but i don't rly know how long
> 
> come yell at me @periidote on tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry
> 
> i HavEn'T fORgoTTEn ABouT LoCK tHe doOr i pRoMISe


End file.
